How To Save My Marriage? – 4 Tips On How To Save Your Marriage.
How to save my marriage is the question asked by most married couples. Since it requires two people to tie the knot, it also requires two people to preserve a relationship. If you’re having relationship issues, saving your relationship will definitely call for commitment from both the husband and wife. A husband or wife can make an effort to change and do all that is required to do each and every day, but without commitment from each of the partners you it will be an uphill battle.
Should you and your husband or wife wish to preserve your relationship, it is highly recommended that you simply look for relationship advice from a good marriage counselor. Should you not afford the cost or choose not to see a counselor you can still work to find common ground with your partner to improve the relationship. Outlined below are 4 tips that any couple will find useful:
Regardless of whether or not your relationship survives depends on what you expect from the relationship or marriage. If you go into a relationship expecting it to be perfect, you will set yourself up for disappointment and failure. Each relationship, regardless of how significantly you adore your partner has it’s ups and downs. A relationship isn’t an automatic passport to happiness. When you expect a marriage to be a solution for all your problems and worries, you are deceiving yourself and your partner. You are not being realistic with marriage and it will suffer as such. Be prepared to make human errors, expect your husband or wife to also make errors. Actually, you must view your marriage somewhat as a job. You do not apply for a job if you know you are not capable of performing. It takes a lot of work to keep and save a marriage. Be sure to have this mentality.
We all realize that great connection abilities are essential for an excellent relationship. What many people do not realize is the fact that connection involves a lot more than the ability or skill to speak. You need to have the capacity to listen and make an effort to put yourself into your spouse’s shoes.
Great connection also implies being prepared to not just acknowledge reality but accept the reality as well. Partners should really feel free to express themselves and say what they really feel without having concern for consequence. This does not mean that it’s fine to be verbally abusive. It should be a good thing to feel comfy expressing your feelings although and knowing that your husband or wife will understand and not wave you away or take you for granted.
Understand the grand art of compromise. Holding onto your husband or wife and relationship will, on occasions, necessitate the need for making an adjustment in what you think is correct or incorrect. Often, this is the most difficult part for many couples. Many couples take to the stage and are too proud to accept being in the wrong, eventually ruining an otherwise healthy relationship. So, constantly be prepared to discover the middle ground and seek to settle any disputes through mutual agreement.
Do not go into a relationship unless you realize what it implies, to commit yourself and keep your wedding day vows. When people get married, they are obviously in love, and they should have plans for the long term. Think about your love and your future. Couples must dedicate themselves to the future and make it happen. What would you do when your expectations for the future do not materialize? In today’s modern world, many people flee from marriage as soon as the honeymoon is over. A commitment endures on the very first, 2nd or third sign of complications. Commitment stays the course, no matter what. You have to stick to your marriage even if the going gets tough.
For marriage to be successful, you should avoid going into a relationship with unreasonable expectations. You have to be prepared to honestly speak and actively listen to what your husband or wife is saying. Be prepared to compromise, not to constantly be on the right and most importantly you have to realize that it requires a massive dedication from you and your wife or husband.
Monetary Responsibilities:
The husband and wife must take part in family finances. Things have changed, unlike in the olden days when one partner was required to bring home the bread and butter, today’s marriage requires income from both partners to sustain the household. Your husband or wife might be getting a bigger salary than you, but this doesn’t necessarily mean that the other one is not accountable for meeting monetary responsibilities.
Sharing financial responsibility keeps you and your husband or wife from feeling stressed which, in turn minimizes tension that may negatively have an effect on a relationship. So, if you work from home or perhaps you are the spouse with a smaller income, do not think that you do not have a significant part to play.
Do Not Burden Your Partner With Your Irresponsible Debt:
Although some people may disagree with this, you must not pile debt over your partner. It’s like bringing excess baggage to your marriage. The only debt you ought to share is mortgage. Personal and minor debts acquired from your credit card should remain in your name, not transferred to your partner.
I think forgiveness is one of the hardest virtues to practice. We all know it is probably the right thing to do but there is something about doing it that brings up a lot of resistance. I’ve often wondered why this is so.
Sometimes we hesitate to forgive because we fear that if we forgive someone, we might be condoning what they did and perhaps giving them permission to do it again. We mistakenly believe that by not forgiving someone, we prevent them from hurting us anymore. I don’t think the two are related. I think those whom we haven’t forgiven still have the power to hurt us.
At times, we hold on to our resentments as a means of punishing those who have hurt or offended us. This doesn’t work too well either. It has been said that “resentment is a poison pill you take hoping the other person will die.” Unforgiven resentments tends to fester inside us robbing us of our health and peace of mind over time.
At other times, we don’t want to forgive because we might have to take responsibility for our part in the upsetting situation. Staying angry and hurt allows us to see ourselves as blameless victims and avoid confronting the issue of responsibility.
The First Type of Forgiveness—Healing from Hurts
In my Powerful Partnerships program I show people how to express what they are feeling inside, be it anger, fear, hurt, passion or joy in a way that heals them. When they are finished, they aren’t upset about that particular issue any more and the negative feelings they had don’t tend to get re-triggered by something that comes up later. They are able to say, “I still remember the incident but I don’t have any more emotional ‘charge’ on it now.” This is one type of forgiveness that I think is very useful, especially in a committed relationship. It requires self-expression to be successful. After practicing this for a while, my wife and I got to a place where our occasional arguments weren’t fueled by unforgiven feelings from the past. It became easier and easier to let things go and get back on the same team.
The Second Type of Forgiveness—Forgiveness as a State of Being
It wasn’t until I had children that I realized that there is another kind of forgiveness that has nothing to do with self expression or the healing of old hurts. In this experience, forgiveness is not something that you do or achieve, it’s a state of being. I was surprised to find that I held (and still hold) my children in a constant state of forgiveness. As they grew, I saw that they were often making mistakes or doing things that I didn’t like but I also knew that nothing they could do would ever need to be forgiven by me. My wife felt the same way and I’m sure parents everywhere know what I am talking about. Our children are already forgiven. For me, they exist in a constant state of forgiveness where the love between us can’t be broken regardless of their behavior on any given day. I don’t need to say or do anything to restore that connection because it is always there. I use to feel this especially when I would open the door to their bedroom at night and watch them as they slept. Whatever happened during that day I was always restored to a state of being where their innocence and my own were apparent. It felt like, “No harm, no foul, nothing to forgive, nothing to express—except love and gratitude.”
There is a big difference between the two types of forgiveness. In the first type, you believe that you’ve been hurt by someone and hopefully, you forgive them as you get over what is bothering you. The hurt is real and must be overcome and released somehow.
The second type of forgiveness is borne of the realization that, on another level, you are undamaged, always fine, the world is the way it is, and that is okay. You can forgive and accept it all because you are in touch with the part of you that can’t be damaged by anything. When I am conscious of this, I feel both forgiving and forgiven. I’m not there all the time but when I am, forgiveness feels like the most natural thing on earth.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about forgiveness or any of the above ideas. I look forward to your comments.
-Jim
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If You Wonder, “Can I Save My Marriage?”
…You Can Stop Wondering.
If You Worry About Needing A Marriage Counselor,
…You Can Stop Worrying.
If You’re Desperate to Know
How to Save A Marriage
(Yes, Even Yours)…You Can Keep Reading
Dear Desperate Friend,
I know how it is.
Your marriage just isn’t what it used to be. You miss the good old old days.
It’s been ages since your spouse looked at you with a smile on their face and a twinkle in their eye. You used to enjoy each other.
Now you can barely tolerate one another.
If you have kids, your communication is reduced to scheduling and childcare arrangements. If you don’t have kids, you might not be communicating at all.
It’s not that you don’t love them anymore, it’s just that it’s the same as you love your kids, your parents, or anyone else… but with an added layer of isolation…
Don’t you wonder what happened
to the love and passion you used to feel?
You want to make things better, but you’re worried about making things worse or hurting your spouse.
That’s why you haven’t taken action sooner.
But at the same time. You’re tired of how things are going.
It just isn’t working anymore, and you’re fed up.
Sure, every day another day goes by, but it all just feels so empty…
Something is missing.
The passion is gone. The “Zing” is “zung.” And what’s left doesn’t look very appealing for the next 20 years…
You have no idea what it takes to save a marriage, let alone your own. You don’t even know how you got to this point, let alone know what to do about it…
You feel hurt, angry, disappointed and hopeless…
But, it doesn’t have to be this way.
It Doesn’t Have to Be This Way:
It *IS* Possible to Save A Marriage–Even Yours!
I’m Dr. Jim Goldstein with an urgent message…
You DON’T have to live like this.
You DON’T have to wake up every morning to more of the same.
And most important, you DON’T have to leave your partner in order to make it better.
Let Me Say That Again..
You *Can* Have a Better Relationship,
And You Don’t Have to Leave Your Partner
To Do It!
You CAN make things better with the very same person you fell in love with all those years ago.
You CAN bring back those loving feelings, and it doesn’t have to be hard or take a long time.
You see, I know that you can do it, because I did it myself.
I Discovered How to Save My Marriage,
So I Know You Can, Too!
Yes, I know exactly how you feel, because 25 years ago, I felt the same way about my life.
The joy and passion I felt the day we got married, had slowly dissolved until “You need to get the kids at soccer at 5:15,” was practically the highlight of our relationship.
Though I never made a conscious decision to do so, I buried myself in work and the Internet.
Even when we tried to talk about things, it usually just made everything worse.
Not to mention our love life…
Sex was a rare occurrence but even when it happened, it felt like more of an escape from our lives than a celebration of them.
Here I was, A Marriage Counselor,
And My Own Relationship Was In Shambles!!
As far as I could see, the passion was gone, never to be found again.
Though I didn’t act upon the thoughts, I started to understand why some people have affairs–just to make sure they weren’t totally dead inside, just to feel like they were still appealing to somebody–anybody…
But, As A Marriage Counselor,
I Had a Special Advantage
As a Marriage Counselor, you see, I had a special advantage compared to where you are right now…
I got to watch other people in their relationships.
It’s always easier to see a solution when you’re not the one in the middle of the problem.
I got an insider’s view into other people’s problems. I could watch them and find out what worked and what didn’t.
My special advantage was that I had the opportunity to learn from other people’s mistakes–and their successes.
One day, after working with three couples in a row, it hit me.
I Figured Out What It Took to
Save My Marriage
I noticed a certain quality to these couples’ interactions. There were patterns I saw in their communication. I watched as certain things they said were actually BLOCKING Their Partner From Feeling and Expressing Love.
I could see exactly what was going wrong (even though they had no idea).
I could see that more talking wasn’t going to make any difference–and I even knew why!
Now that I knew what NOT to do, I also had a better idea of what TO DO.
Once I Discovered What it Takes to
Save a Marriage,
I Realized How Simple It Was
After I shared my realization with my wife and told her about my discovery, we committed to doing it together.
It changed everything!
Not only were we able to heal our relationship, but we healed ourselves in the process!
The love, spontaneity, and joy came back.
We were even excited to please each other again… in more ways than one, if you know what I mean…
If you want to find out what is was I learned, click the button below to sign up now.
Once I Figured Out What It Took to
Save My Marriage,
I Couldn’t Wait To Share It With Others
As soon as I saw that this could save my marriage and I experienced what a difference it made in my relationship with my wife, I began integrating it into my sessions with my clients.
Couples who came to me as a marriage counselor had such great success with my new discovery that they started referring people to me left and right.
Within a short time, I started teaching Powerful Partnerships® seminars on weekends.
I packed everything I knew into two amazing days and couples loved it.
They gave us rave reviews.
The only problem was, six weeks later, they could hardly remember what they had learned….
So I offered on-going coaching sessions, on a weekly or monthly basis.
They loved that too!
Then the only problem was, that there are only 24 hours in day, and I wanted to help more people. I knew how powerful this concept was. I knew how many people needed to know this.
And I knew I could never reach them all just by doing one-on-one sessions.
Plus, only couples of “a certain income level” could afford the one-on-one sessions.
But I knew that EVERYONE would benefit from what I figured out, no matter how much or how little money they made…
Finally, modern-day technology provided the answer. Today, I am offering the Powerful Partnerships® 8-Week Teleseminar Series.
The Powerful Partnerships® 8-Week Teleseminar Series
Lets ME Tell YOU What I Discovered
About How to Save a Marriage
Finally, I can help people like you, heal and renew your relationship.
Finally, I can offer on-going support at a price that doesn’t end in three zeros.
Finally, YOU can find out exactly how to improve your relationship.
The Powerful Partnerships® 8-Week Teleseminar Series gives you a step-by-step, proven method to recapture the feelings you used to have for each other.
You might even be thankful that my wife and I
had all those problems so many years ago!
(I can sure say that I am grateful for what we went through because it’s brought us to where we are today, and let me tell you–My “today” is pretty incredible!)
Listen to what this couple, who took my course years ago has to say.
(And they paid MUCH more than what I”m offering today, plus they had to drive four hours round-trip every week for six weeks in a row!)
Best of all, it will be FUN!!
And I mean that!
This isn’t some “pay-me-by-the-hour-to-dredge-up-problems-from-the-past-and-make-you-more-miserable-without-REALLY-doing-anything-about-your-problems” marriage counselor session.
This is different.
I won’t be on anyone’s “side” and there won’t be any pressure on you or your partner to “become” someone else.
You’ll be fascinated by what you hear. You’ll say, “No wonder we couldn’t resolve our issues!” and “This could be fun!”
As you can see, all together, this course is worth well over $1600.
I don’t know how much money you’ve already invested in trying to improve your relationship, but many people spend more than triple that amount, with nothing to show for it at the end.
But for a lot of people, $1600 just isn’t do-able.
That’s why I’ve decided to offer it for much less.
You might think a savings of $600 would be a lot. And it is.
But I don’t want you to pay $1,000 for this course. Heck, I don’t even want you to pay $500.
That’s why I’ve decided to offer this course for just $497.
Well, the regular price is $497, but when you sign up before January 28, 2011, I’ll take an extra $100 off.
Order today and you’ll pay only $397!
For Less Than $30 An Hour,
You Can Change Your Whole Life…
This course contains over 14 hours of material--just between the weekly and bonus sessions alone.
Do the calculation. (Or don’t–I just pulled out my calculator to do it for you.)
14 hours for $397…
That comes out to about $28.36 per hour.
Did you read that?!?! I said $28.36 per hour!
On top of it, you don’t even have to pay me all $397 at once.
You Can Make 3 Easy Payments, of Under $135 Each….
That’s one payment of $132.33, and two more payments of the same amount, over the next two months. You probably pay more than that each month for your TV or Cell phone!
Isn’t your marriage worth it?
Think about it.
This is an Outstanding Value…
Counseling sessions can typically cost $200 an hour (and often even more). This course gives you 8 sessions for a fraction of the cost of counseling.
It’s Convenient…
You can attend this course from the comfort of your own home. It’s completely private, and you don’t have to drive anywhere.
(Heck, we won’t even know if you’re wearing a bathrobe while you join us…)
It’s Easy…
All you do is make a phone call, and if your spouse chooses to join you, they can pick up another extension. (Or even call in from a totally different phone if that works better.)
It’s Flexible…
Calls are scheduled for once a week starting at 8 pm EST. If you miss a session, no problem! You can go to the members-only site to listen online or download the MP3.
You Can Do It Alone… Or Together!
Your partner doesn’t have to cooperate, support, or agree to take this course in order for you to begin transforming your relationship right away.
You can take the course yourself and start practicing Powerful Partnerships® on your own.
Even if your partner is dead-set against any couples’ work, you’ll become happier and more satisfied with your relationship after practicing these principles.
“Consider that you are currently in a dance with your partner. Your moves affect your partner’s moves, so a change on your part should bring about a change in your mate—if you don’t use force and you are patient. If you choose the right moves, your mate may not even realize that he or she is changing until the dance is totally different.”
(This is a sneak-peek from my Powerful Partnerships® e-book. Remember, you’ll get the complete e-book absolutely free when you sign up for the class!)
That said, if your partner DOES decide to join you, here’s the best thing of all…
Your Partner Can Attend, Too–Absolutely FREE!!
That’s Two for the Price of One!
Now, all those cost calculations we just did can go out the window if your partner is interested in joining…
If your partner joins too, you can change your life for–not $30 an hour–but less than $15 an hour!
Listen…
I know that you are at your frustrated and dissatisfied with the status quo, or you wouldn’t have come to this site.
I know that what I’m saying holds a glimmer of hope for you, or you wouldn’t still be reading this page.
I KNOW that this program can change your life, because, not only has it worked for me, but it’s worked for thousands of other people, too.
But I want YOU to experience it for yourself.
And I want you to be completely satisfied with it. And I don’t want you to lose ANYTHING if you’re not. That’s why I am offering a full money-back guarantee.
I am not out to get your money, (Heck, I can make plenty of money doing one-on-ones.) I AM out to help you transform your relationship. If my program doesn’t help you do that, then I honestly don’t want your money.
So please, don’t let another day go by. Take advantage of this special offer, and sign up today.
Warmest Regards,
PS–Twenty-five years ago, I never would have believed that I could achieve the happiness I have now with with my wife, Lauren. Don’t miss your opportunity to regain the love you used to feel. Sign up now and pay less than $135 today for both you AND your partner!
I guarantee you’ll be glad you did…
The Powerful Partnerships Couples Coursetm
Remember how you used to feel when you were first dating? Remember how motivated you were to please your partner, how easy it was to forgive them and how much fun it was just to be together regardless of what you did?
Over time something happens to almost all couples that subtly changes these positive feelings. It gets a little harder to forgive, a little more difficult to want to please your partner and before you know it you’ve settled for less. Even if your relationship is comfortable, it’s not what it used to be and it’s not what it could be.
Regardless of how long you have been together and how much history you have with each other, The Powerful Partnershipstm Couples Course will show you how to rekindle those feelings.
The course is given as a teleseminar over 8 consecutive weeks. All you need is a telephone to participate and a desire to improve your relationship. With you in one room and your partner on the extension in the other room, you are ready to go.
Here are some of the results you can look forward to from the Powerful Partnershipstm teleseminar:
1. You’ll find yourself wanting to please your partner again without necessarily understanding why. You’ll just want to.
2. You’ll feel acknowledged, appreciated and valued for the things you do.
3. You’ll be able to know exactly what is bothering you and say it in a way that heals you without arousing defensiveness, resistance or argument in your partner.
4. You’ll learn how to clean up any old hurts that are still unresolved without requiring your partner to admit anything, apologize or promise to be different.
5. If you get into a stuck place with your partner, you’ll know exactly what to say to get out of it so that you can get back on the same team quickly. Over time you’ll find that there are fewer and fewer stuck places and when they do occur they don’t last as long as they used to.
6. You’ll develop the power to get what you want without having to resort to manipulation, guilt, anger, or any type of force. Love will become the only legitimate motivator in your relationship.
7. As a result of practicing Powerful Partnershipstm, you will swear that your partner’s physical appearance has improved. Whether or not this is empirically true, they will become more physically attractive to you even if you can’t explain why. Love does that.
Dr. Jim Goldstein has practiced the principles of Powerful Partnershipstm successfully for over 25 years with his wife, Lauren, and is still amazed at how their love for each other has deepened over the years. He is committed to showing others how they can have the relationship they always dreamed of without having to change partners or requiring them to get a personality transplant!
The distinctions taught in the course are thought provoking, powerful and remarkably simple to understand and practice. The principles of Powerful Partnershipstm make practical sense and they are followed up with exercises and structure to help them become part of how you speak and act.
Transform all your relationships into powerful partnerships starting with the The Powerful Partnershipstm Couples Course. Find out about the next course and Register today!
