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Can I Save My Marriage Without Therapy?
The progression from falling in love to forming a committed relationship to getting married is quite familiar to most couples. The hard part is figuring out what to do after you are married if those original good feelings have faded. Most couples don’t know why this happens, how to prevent it. Once things start breaking down, they wonder, “Can I save my marriage?”
Talking about problems often makes things worse especially when you are upset. This is why many people find couples therapy and marriage counseling so painful and unproductive. It is often the last step before a break-up.
Hi. I’m Dr. Jim Goldstein and I created the Powerful Partnerships® program to show couples how to restore the feelings they once had with each other without therapy or counseling and without dredging up painful incidents from the past. The answer to, “Can I save my marriage?” is, “Yes, you absolutely can!” You can make rapid improvements in your relationship if you know how.
Here’s the good news. The feelings you once had when you were first dating are alive and well. They’re just hidden under a lot of rubble. Over 30 years I have shown thousands of couples how to recapture those loving, passionate feelings and I can show you, too. It’s easier and less painful than marriage counseling. Most people who experience my Powerful Partnerships® program are amazed that they are actually having fun learning how to save their marriage.
Find out if Powerful Partnerships® is for you:
Powerful Partnerships® addresses these issues:
- Loss of passion
- Infidelity
- Trust issues
- I love you but I’m not in love with you
- Arguments over money
- Midlife crisis
- Stubborn partners
- Bullying
- Impending divorce or separation
- Boredom
- Little or no sex
- Bickering
- Issues with in-laws
- Poor or ineffective communication
What’s the next step?
Sign up for my free 7 part video series, “7 Steps to a Better Relationship.” These videos will give you practical steps you can take right now to improve your relationship. In addition you’ll start receiving my blog posts covering every aspect of relationships. There is no obligation and you can opt out at any time. I will never share or sell your information to anyone. Just sign up below and let me help you save your marriage.
How Can I Save My Marriage?
When your marriage is in trouble, it doesn’t happen overnight. It is the product of a series of boundary violations and missteps that weren’t effectively addressed. When you realize that things are seriously in trouble, it’s only natural to wonder, “Can I save my marriage?”
Over time, in any relationship, we develop theories about our partner. When unpleasant things happen, we draw conclusions and come to believe that, “That’s just the way they are.” Once we have that theory, our mind tends to collect evidence to support the theory and disregard facts that don’t fit. It’s no wonder that we begin to doubt whether our partner can change or if our marriage can be saved.
Attempts at resolving the relationship by talking about problems seems like it would help but it really doesn’t. Sometimes, stirring stuff up just makes it smell worse. The more you talk about your problems, the more space they will take up in your mind. Anything we focus upon tends to increase so a problem-focused approach will only make your problems grow.
Right now, you may be thinking “But, I really want to save my marriage. What can I do?”
Here is the key: develop a new theory about your marriage and about your partner and start collecting evidence that your theory is true. This will change everything. If you tell yourself, “In his own way, he/she really does love me” or “There are a lot of things that I like about our relationship,” these statements will begin to feel more true over time. You will start to gather evidence to support your belief. The more evidence you gather, the more you will see the good in your partner and your attitude about them will begin to change. That changes the dance between you and your partner.
Your willingness to see things differently can and will save your marriage. Start noticing anything that comes close to the behavior you want to see and let your partner know how much you appreciate him or her for doing these things. These very behaviors will begin to increase.
“Can I save my marriage?” You bet. Change your theory and change your story about your relationship and watch how the evidence follows suit.
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